Do not work for food that perishes but for the food that endures for eternal life

Today's Gospel focuses on setting our sights on Christ, believing in him whole heartedly and trusting in God's divine providence. This is definitely something that is not for the weak or faint of heart. Over the past several years I have been tested on my level of trust in God, and sadly I know I still have a long ways to go to completely trust him.

As I was at morning Mass, I kept hearing myself offering petitions of prayer instead of praise. I heard so clearly my lack of trust by continually praying for this need or that need that I didn't stop to say "Thank you" for the small things. As I write, I still am struggling to get beyond my needs, wants, and desires and how God can fulfill those. I still find myself saying "yes, but...." instead of giving in to the notion of trust, and unconditional praise.

God gives us eternal food if we believe in him and whole heartedly trust in him. Each step along this cross filled journey has shown me that I can and should trust, yet I have the same lack of trust as when I began. Every now and then I get a glimpse of what it is I should be doing, and somehow manage to revert back to my comfortable ways.

I know that with more prayer, contemplation, and praise I can obtain all things through God. A prayerful heart, a praising tongue, and a patient mind, nourishes the soul.

The Lens with which we see

It has been quite a while since I blogged. I seem to not be on the computer for pleasure as much since I do so much of it at work. In a way it's a good thing because I am more drawn to the family when I am home, but I long to be able to sit and write reflections of what is going on in my daily life.

Over this past week I had the privilege of attending a business conference in none other, Sin City. I arrived by myself on Sunday evening to attend a 10 hour long "conference" session on Monday. Waking up earlier than usual I made my way to the conference center to start sharply at 8 am. We didn't finish until 6 pm and my mind was spinning. Like most conferences that I have attended, I was inspired by the speakers to try new things at work, implement new ideas, and move in a forward direction. Sometimes this momentum isn't always well received especially by from the people it directly affects. After the conference there was a Show that lasted the rest of the week. I was new to this experience and boy was it an experience! Over 60,000 exhibitors, an entire Convention center filled, plus all of the ballrooms at the Venetian. Unbelievable!! At first I was overwhelmed with the amount of people there, and started to doubt if I was going to catch up with my fellow employees who were there attending the Show. Eventually I did and it made for a nice day together.

As I was enjoying some much needed down time, I returned to a book that I started reading around my birthday called "One thousand gifts". The author, Ann Voskamp, has a wonderful way of interweaving her daily life with biblical reflections; reflections of how to achieve joy, peace, eucharisteo as she calls it. My first "ah ha" moment of the book was when she pointed out that eucharisteo always precedes the miracle. She emphasized this point as she recalls Christ at the Last Supper. He broke bread, said thanks, and gave it to his disciples. Afterwards he underwent the Passion, but most importantly the Resurrection; the greatest miracle of all.

So here I am 5 months later and I am still reading this book. The latest chapter discusses the need to constantly adjust our lens of which we choose to see. We can choose to see the bleak, the dark, the despair or we can choose to see God holding us through it all; the butterfly that passes by when we least expect it; the laughter in our oldest son's belly as we engage in an all out tickle war. The lens with which we see things affects so much of us. It affects our attitudes, our relationships (with God and one another), and even our behaviors. It reminded me that life's events have a way of warping our lens and the need for constant adjustments.

As I continue on this journey of lens adjustments, I know that I will need to continue to focus on the smaller, less significant things that otherwise previously may not have mattered much to me.